


Diary of a Single Rose

by KTRose



Category: Casanova (UK), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover Pairings, F/M, Teninch, Teninch Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-09-28 12:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 3,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10100975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KTRose/pseuds/KTRose
Summary: Rose's single life gets a new twist added when a neighbour moves into the flat on the other side of a shared wall.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunaseemoony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaseemoony/gifts).



> I'm gifting this story to Moony as thanks for putting up with all my messages about the activities of my downstairs neighbour ... there's been a lot of them.
> 
> The rating is Teen for now but depending on the mood of the muse it might go up in later chapters.

[A blurred hand blocks the camera as it is jiggled into position, then pulls back to reveal a 20ish something blonde in a vibrant pink hoodie]

 

Well it’s day 1150 of singledom and I hope that he who shall never be named again walks in front of the proverbial bus and is splattered into tomato sauce. Urgh, whatever. Coffee shop guy has disappeared off to a new job, so that was two months of lusting wasted. On the upside, there was a moving van outside of the building today. Looks like I’ll be getting neighbours again, hope they’re better than the last lot. Hopefully next time I’ll have more interesting news to report, until then this is SolitaryRose signing off.

 

[end video]


	2. Chapter 2

[a lounge cluttered with books and DVDs comes into view and Rose has her ear pressed to a wall]

 

Hello viewers, thought I would share this with you. I haven’t met the new neighbours yet but they’re definitely making their presence known.

 

[a regular thumping noise is heard through the walls]

 

This is the third time in a couple of hours. You have to be impressed with the guy’s stamina don’t you. I feel like I should put on some mood music for them. Put your suggestions in the comments.

 

Oh and it’s day 1164 of singledom.

 

[end video]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know I've actually written a few chapters of this but I'm going to be mean and spread them out ... it's desperate attempt at giving the muse some space to actually finish it one day.


	3. Chapter 3

[The camera is focused on a cream coloured wall and a woman is heard yelling her encouragement and suggestions. The camera spins around to focus on Rose.]

 

I guess that’s what they call a screamer. She hasn’t stopped for the last twenty minutes, so he must be doing something right.

 

Day 1171 of singledom is certainly ending on a high note.

 

<jump cut>

 

[Rose appears in her pyjamas with slightly mussy hair.]

 

[The same woman can be heard yelling out yes, repeatedly.]

 

It’s 2am and it sounds like she is really enjoying herself. Wonder if he is on some kind of chemical enhancement because his stamina tonight is quite impressive. I'm just thankful it's a Friday night and I don't have to go into work in the morning, because I'm not going to be getting much sleep while she carries on like that.

 

<jump cut>

 

[Rose is still in her pyjamas, hair is very mussed up and her eyes look very tired.]

 

[The woman is screaming out her ecstasy.]

 

It’s 4am and they’re at it again. I  _ really _ hope that this isn’t a long term relationship he’s entered into. 

 

[Rose turns to the wall, yelling] Bloody hell, yes we all know he has to stay right there! Try a new instruction.

 

[Rose faces the camera] The least she could do is come up with some interesting dirty talk so we all can be entertained by it.

 

<jump cut>

 

[Rose is seen wrapped in a duvet with a steaming cup of tea.]

 

[The woman is still screaming.]

 

Hi everyone, it’s now 8am. We all had a break for a couple of hours of sleep and recovery from the last round. However, as you can hear they are at it, AGAIN! I normally don’t wish ill on others, but after last night I really hope that she is sorely chafed after this and has to explain to everyone why she can’t sit down properly and why she is hobbling when she walks. Wonder if he’d appreciate an ice pack when she’s gone, because surely his man bits must be in pain by now. 

 

Day 1172 of singledom and I’m not sure I want another relationship if it has to be anything like The Screamer.

 

[End video.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moony can back me up that this happened ... I can vouchsafe that my neighbour has very good stamina.


	4. Chapter 4

[Rose and a red headed woman are leaning over the back of the couch, staring avidly at the shared wall. A rhythmic thumping against the wall is heard, as well as a loud grunting that is picking up in pace and effort.]

 

[A man is heard yelling out his release.]

 

[Rose and the redhead clap enthusiastically and then collapse on the couch giggling.]

 

Donna: Oh my god Rose, you weren’t wrong about your neighbour that is some impressive stamina. I give him an eight out of ten.

 

Rose: Eight! Donna how can you give him only an eight?

 

Donna [winking]: I’d have to experience him first hand to really get an appreciation of whether he’s a ten or not.

 

Rose: Well he’s certainly a ten in my fantasy life. Bloody hell I’m so single.

 

Donna: What! You haven’t met him yet?

 

Rose [covering her face with a cushion]: Not yet, I’ve seen him through the window a couple of times. Just haven’t run into him in person.

 

Donna: Well after that performance, I know  _ I _ want to run into him in person.

 

[Rose and Donna collapse into giggling again.]

 

[End video]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure this would be Moony and I if we weren't separated by half a globe.


	5. Chapter 5

[A man is seen out of a window. He is wearing a puffy sleeved white shirt underneath a burgundy embroidered silk waistcoat and tight fitting black trousers.]

 

_ Rose’s voice off camera: _ I thought you all might want to see what my neighbour looks like.

 

[The camera zooms in on the man’s arse.] 

 

_ Rose’s voice of camera: _ Blimey, it makes you just want to touch it.

 

[The man turns around and starts to look up. The camera drops below the window sill and refocuses on Rose’s face.]

 

Oops, that may have been a bit too close to stalking for comfort. Now you all really understand the situation. I think I’ve decided to start a new count today. Yep, it’s 33 days since the neighbour has moved in. 1183 days of singledom has never felt so long before.

 

[End video]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never seen my neighbour and that just might be a good thing. Yep, much better to imagine it's Casanova *facepalm*


	6. Chapter 6

[Rose is standing staring at the shared wall. The thumping against the wall and the grunting is getting louder and louder.]

 

I’m getting worried about the integrity of this wall, if they keep this up they might break through it.

 

[A loud crash of something breaking and falling is heard. All is silent afterwards.]

 

[Rose turns to the camera with a shocked face.]

 

I think they just broke the bed.

 

[Rhythmic grunting is heard again, followed by the sound of a woman and a man yelling out their orgasmic finish.]

 

Holy crap that is some dedication right there. Thus ends day 42 of the neighbour moving in next door.

 

[End video]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll swear on as many holy books you want that this really happened. Moony back me up on this!!!


	7. Chapter 7

[Rose, Donna and a friend are seen sitting on the couch, demolishing a large bowl of popcorn. The couch has been turned to face the shared wall.]

 

[The thumping against the wall stops, causing the girls to turn towards each other in confusion. Smiles spread across their faces as the thumping begins again accompanied with grunting.]

 

Donna: I bet he's changed position.

 

Martha: Sounds like he’s got more leverage now, wonder if he’s holding on to the bedpost.

 

Rose [thumping Martha’s arm]: Martha! 

 

Donna [laughing]: I’m with Martha, the last position obviously wasn’t doing anything for him. Listen to the noises coming outta him now.

 

Rose: I am listening, I can’t help listening can I. He’s been keeping me up for weeks.

 

Martha: ssssh I think he’s about to finish.

 

[The sounds of grunting increase in volume and frequency, until a very loud expletive is shouted towards them.]

 

[The girls applaud enthusiastically, and then scramble towards pens and paper sitting on the coffee table.]

 

Martha: Alright Rose, you know him best what are you giving him out of ten.

 

Rose [holds up a piece of paper]: Well I think this effort was a solid eight. He was obviously getting into it towards the end, but he loses points on not getting whoever’s with him to lose control too. Although after The Screamer, I’m sure neither he nor I are particularly upset about that.

 

Martha [holding up her paper]: Yeah I’m with you definitely an eight. 

 

Donna: Are you two mad? That was a nine at least, for gawd’s sake HE CHANGED POSITIONS! How many guys do you know can change positions that close to the end?

 

Martha: True, we definitely have to give him something for that. Okay, how about eight and a half.

 

Rose [laughing]: All settled then, it’s an eight and half for tonight’s performance. 

 

Martha: You two certainly know how to cheer a girl up after a long week. This was so much better than a romcom and ice cream.

 

Donna: We should send him a bottle of champagne as a token of appreciation.

 

[The girls raise their wine glasses and salute the wall.]

 

All together: To the fucking neighbour

 

[After taking a swig of their glasses, they all collapse laughing on the couch.]

 

[End video.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whilst the neighbour has managed to do this, I've not had the party to appreciate his efforts ... really if he'd just give me a heads up for the next time I'd organise something :D


	8. Chapter 8

[Rose is seen holding a microphone up to the shared wall. Voices of two women and a man can be heard giggling on the other side.]

I didn’t think you’d believe me that there’s a threesome going on next door unless I did this.

[The giggling suddenly stops.]

I’m not sure I want to know what is happening that it has gone so suddenly quiet.

[Muffled moaning is picked up by the microphone. Rose quickly backs away from the wall and sits at her desk.]

Umm … right … well I guess that answers that question. I can’t believe he’s having a threesome on a broken bed.

58 days since the neighbour moved in and 1208 very very long days of singledom.

[Rose starts thumping her head on her desk. End video]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter with input from neighbour ... he must be having a dry spell ... dammit


	9. Chapter 9

[Rose is curled up on the couch in yoga pants and a stretchy jumper, with an opened tub of Ben & Jerry’s.]

So I decided to take some biscuits around to the neighbour and introduce myself. Yes viewers, I baked him biscuits. What was I thinking? His name is Giac. He has sparkly blue eyes, and great hair. Really great hair. His smile is sinful and should definitely be outlawed. His voice is like molten caramel and he smells amazing, like you want to curl into his chest and never let go. Oh and his chest! From what I saw of his chest through his open collared tight oxford shirt, it’s sprinkled with the perfect amount of chest hair that begs to be caressed. Oh and on closer inspection his arse is sooooo much better in tight denim than in a tight fitting suit.

[Rose scoops up a large spoonful of ice cream.]

1215 days of bloody singledom and 65 days since the man who occupies every single one of my fantasies moved in next door to torment me.

[Rose shoves the spoon in her mouth.]

[End video]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've all been here haven't we ... especially staring at his arse ... or other areas in that region ... think I need to go buy another tub of B&J Empowermint


	10. Chapter 10

[Rose’s hand is seen moving away from the keyboard so that the camera can now see the whole room. The man from the window is seen standing just in the doorway.]

Rose: So what can I do for you Giac?

Giac: Rose, the woman as beautiful as the flower she is named after. I am just returning your biscuit tin cara. I had a new bed delivered today and the workmen helped me finish them off.

[Giac saunters over to the shared wall and caresses it.]

Giac: This is the wall that connects to mine?

Rose [blushing]: umm yeah it is.

Giac [winking over his shoulder]: I love it when I can hear you and your girlfriends having a great time. It really adds to the atmosphere and spurs me on to do better.

Rose [with a tongue in cheek smile]: Well if you give me enough warning, I’ll make sure the girls are here next time.

Giac [laughing]: I may just do that. So where do you sleep, I’d love to hear your voice through our wall.

Rose [pointing towards a hallway]: It’s down that way. Not that anyone of note has seen it lately.

Giac: Scandalous! A beautiful woman such as yourself should never be alone in her bed. We should do something about that fiore mio.

[End video]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I should give you lot a heads up that this is the last chapter I have written ... it's not the end ... just may take me awhile before I publish the next chapter ... the downstairs neighbour has been really quite so no help on the inspiration front from him dammit ... doesn't he know that there are people waiting for his next sexual exploit ... some people are just not considerate of others ;)


	11. Chapter 11

[Rose, Donna and Martha are sprawled on the couch and picking over the last pieces of pizza]

Donna: I still can’t believe you didn’t take him up on his offer to share your bedroom!

Rose: He was only joking about that Donna.

[Donna and Martha both look at her incredulously]

Rose: Okay, I choose to believe he was only joking. What did you expect me to do, just drop trou right there and go for it.

[Martha and Donna both nod vigorously]

Martha: Yes! Yes, that’s exactly what we expected you to do.

Donna: How can we live vicariously through you if you don’t take him up on the offer.

Martha: You know what I can’t believe, that he left you a note encouraging you to invite us over tonight.

Donna: Yeah why’d he do that?

Rose: Well he said that he enjoyed hearing us party. Said it helped him to perform better.

Martha: Not sure if I’m disgusted or flattered by that.

Donna: Shhhhh I can hear voices!!

[All three ladies rush to the shared wall and listen intently]

Rose: Is that?

Martha: I think it is. Yep, definitely another man and woman.

Donna [fist pumping]: Yes! Threesome!!!!

Rose [flapping at Donna’s arm]: You are so incorrigible girl.

Donna: Wonder how it’s going to go down.

Martha: Do I need to give you the sex talk again.

Donna [giving Martha filthy look]: No silly. I want to know who’s going to be in the middle.

Rose: Well all I can hear is giggling, so I’m guessing no one at the moment. Anyone for a top up to their drink.

[Both Martha and Donna drain their glasses]

Rose: I’ll take that as a yes.

[As the ladies take a seat on the couch again, the giggling can still be heard through the wall.]

Donna: Geez this is taking awhile, do you think someone’s being shy?

Martha: I’m really trying to not think about what is going on over there. The voyeurism aspect is starting to make me feel queezy.

Rose [poking her toe at Martha]: You sure it wasn’t that last slice that’s making you queezy?

Martha: Ha, ha. You’re sooo funny.

[The giggling suddenly stops.]

Donna: Ooo things must be hotting up now. I still want to know who’s in the middle.

Rose: I say it’s her.

Martha: Nah, it’s gotta be him doesn’t it.

Rose: What makes you say that?

Donna [gesturing to the three of them]: Well he does like to be the centre of attention.

Rose [laughing]: Well there is that. Could you do it?

Donna: What a threesome? Never really thought about it.

[Martha stands up quickly and starts cleaning up the pizza boxes]

Rose: You’re being kind of quiet there Martha.

Donna: Yeah anything you want to share with us.

Martha: Umm, nope, no, not really. Nothing at all.

Rose: That’s a lot of no going on there.

Donna: Me thinks she doth protest too much.

Martha: Fine, I may have experimented in college.

Donna: Woohoo details!!

Rose: Yeah Mar, we want details no holding out on us.

[A loud slamming of a door is heard]

Martha: Uh oh, I think something didn’t go as expected next door.

Rose: Aww poor Giac, maybe we should invite him over for ice cream.

Donna: Yeah, then he and Martha can compare notes on threesomes.

[Martha starts throwing cushions at Donna]

[End Video]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The downstairs neighbour provided some new inspiration during the week ... I guess he's still getting his groove back.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thanks to natural--blues for her continued expertise in Italian and Venetian swearing :)

[Rose is sitting in front of her couch and Giac is sitting behind her plaiting her hair in two]

Rose: … so yeah ever since then it’s just been Mum and me.

Giac: Well at least you got to learn about your Dad from you Mum. My Mother never knew which of her paramours sired me.

Rose: Paramours?

Giac: My Mother was an opera singer and toured all the great opera houses of Europe. She was never the lead but always played the other significant roles. It meant that she always had a bevy of admirers who wanted to boast of bedding her. She always ensured that they lavished her in gifts before “giving in to their declarations of love”.

Rose [turning to look up at Giac]: Blimey, that just seems so calculated. I don’t think I could ever be like that. That must have been a tough world to grow up in Giac.

Giac: Well I only experienced it for a few years. Mother packed me off to a boarding school as soon as she could. I only received letters from her after that and she died shortly after my final year.

Rose [rising to kneel and hug Giac to her]: Oh Giac I’m so sorry.

[Giac pulled Rose closer into a hug]

 

<jump cut>

 

[Rose and Giac are sitting at opposite ends of the couch. Giac is painting Rose’s toenails. Glittery butterfly clips clutching twists of hair cover Giac’s head.]

Rose [laughing]: Yes, well, Jimmy Stone, also known as, he who shall never be named again. Is the piece of shite who stole my heart, and all my savings, before running off with Shareen. Who was my best mate up until then.

Giac: Maledission! Rose I hope you reported him to the police.

Rose [hugging herself tight]: Probably should have. Although I heard he got nicked last year for dealing. I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long to get over him. Urgh anyways enough about me. How did you end up here?

Giac [taking his time to finish her little piggy]: Sorry to say my story isn’t much better. I had to flee from Paris to escape a stalker and the debt collectors that were after her. Well technically me, as she was using my name and credit to fund her lifestyle.

Rose [rolling her eyes]: Why do they always go for your money. Who is this bint and what does she look like. If I see her creeping around outside I’ll call the coppers on her.

Giac [smiling]: Ha, I would love to see the great Reinette Poisson pushed into the back of a police van.

Rose [finger quoting]: The great Reinette Poisson?

Giac: Yeah, she is a direct descendant of the Orleans line of the French throne, and as such she claims to be the queen of France.

Rose: In other words she’s a total nutter.

Giac [holding in the laughter as he paints another nail]: If only that were so. Unfortunately, her lineage has been validated, although, the queen part not so much. Last I heard she has turned her affections towards Prince Jean-Christophe Napoleon in a bid to unite the two family lines with claims to the throne. Poor Jean-Christophe high tailed it to Harvard as soon as he could to escape her.

 

<jump cut>

 

[Rose is now painting Giac’s toenails a bright red]

Rose: You know, Donna and Martha will never forgive me if I don’t ask about what happened the other night.

[Giac slides his hands down his face and groans]: It was a nightmare

Rose: We contemplated inviting you over to drown your sorrows in champagne.

Giac: I’m glad you didn’t. I was in no state to be sociable then.

Rose: So go on spill, what happened. Or didn’t in this case.

Giac: Okay but no names. She had always wanted to try a threesome and so she arranged for both of them to come over. It was going well, she was all flirty with champagne. He was a bit surprised at first but was happy to go along with it. Things move along as they do. I kissed her and all was well. Then when I kissed him, and he didn’t hesitate at all to get involved, she decided that she didn’t like sharing him. Next thing, it’s all clothes on and she’s storming out the door dragging him behind her.

Rose [laughing and trying not to drip nail polish everywhere]: So she got jealous of the two of you together.

Giac: I think she was more upset that he wasn’t jealous. It’s a pity because he was a much better snog than her, and from what I felt in his jeans he would’ve been a memorable shag too.

[Giac manages to catch the nail polish, as Rose collapses into laughter]

[End video]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who might interested Prince Jean-Christophe Napoleon is the actual current heir to the Bonaparte line of claimants to the French throne. He is a 31 year old bachelor and is studying something finance related at Harvard ... well at least according to his wikipedia page he is :)
> 
> As for the bachelors in the Orleans line (i.e. the descendants of the kings) we have 7 year old Prince Gaston of Orleans and his brother Prince Joseph who is almost 1.
> 
> There's another line of claimants but they're Spanish so apparently they don't really count *shrugs idk*
> 
> (Yes I really have spent way too much time researching this for you)


	13. Chapter 13

[Rose and Giac are standing in front of her lounge staring into each other’s eyes.]

[Giac gently caresses Rose’s face and leans in placing a soft kiss upon her lips. Rose tips forward as Giac pulls back from the kiss.]

[Staring at each other again, Rose reaches up and wraps a hand around Giac’s neck and proceeds to snog the stuffing out of him. Her other hand slides down his back and grips his arse.]

[Giac can be heard groaning as he wraps both arms around Rose.]

Rose: I think we should take this to the bedroom

Giac: I thought you’d never ask

[End video]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope not even a little bit sorry ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame celestialkat for providing the prompt for this chapter

[The screen is filled with Martha’s face.]

Donna [off camera]: Is that thing working yet?

Martha [pulling back from the camera]: Yeah it looks like it. So how do you have keys to Rose’s flat?

Donna: Oh I’ve had her emergency keys for a couple of years now, and she has mine. Don’t worry Rose won’t freak out, we’ve both used each other’s keys before.

Martha: Okay, if you say so. Now popcorn or pizza or ice cream?

[The sound of a bed knocking against a wall is heard.]

[Donna and Martha look at each other and turn to stare down the hallway.]

Giac [off camera]: Oooooh Rooose

Rose [off camera]: Yes, Giac, Yes! Right there!

Donna: No Way!

Martha: Quick we have to get outta here.

[Martha and Donna scramble to collect their things together]

Donna: Wait wait, I just have to do something.

[Donna quickly scribbles something on a piece of paper and leaves it prominently placed on the coffee table.]

[The front door slams as Martha and Donna make their escape.]

… 

… 

… 

… 

[Rose wrapped in a sheet creeps down the hallway]

[Giac struts down after her in just his pants]

Rose: Phew looks like they’ve gone now.

Giac [picking up Donna’s note]: Why is there a note with 10/10 on it?

Rose [blushing snatches the note out of Giac’s hand]: umm we kinda got in the habit of scoring your performances.

Giac [with a big grin on his face]: Really!?!!

Rose [dropping the note back on the table and wrapping her arms around Giac]: Your best score so far has been 8.5, and I think you need to do something about deserving that 10 instead of the acting job we just did.

Giac [sliding his hands down to Rose’s bum]: Can you give a man some pointers on making sure you get your 10/10 experience fiore mio?

Rose [nibbling on Giac’s neck]: I might have a few ideas we can work with

[Giac picks Rose up and wraps her legs around him as he quickly carries her back down the hallway]

[End video]


	15. Chapter 15

 

[Giac is sitting at Rose’s desk beaming into the camera]

 

Giac: Hello ladies and gentlemen of the internet, how are you all? It has been a long time since you have heard from fiore mio.

 

[A pair of hands descend over Giac’s eyes. One finger is adorned by a very sparkly new ring.]

 

Giac [kissing Rose’s palm]: Ahh cara you are just in time.

 

Rose: What are you doing my love?

 

Giac: I thought we should make an announcement to the world that you are no longer a Single Rose.

 

Rose [spinning Giac around in the swivel chair and climbing into his lap]: No I’m not anymore. [looking over Giac’s shoulder into the camera] Sorry folks there won’t be anymore videos uploaded, as we’re getting married.

 

[Giac leans forward to snog the stuffing out of Rose]

 

[Rose’s hand flails towards the keyboard randomly hitting keys]

 

[End video]

  

 

 

 

_**Epilogue** _  


 

 

Giac decided to become a therapist specialising in sex and body issues.

 

Rose made sure their home was soundproofed, especially their bedroom.

 

Donna, never gave up asking Martha to dish on her threesome experience.

 

Martha, never dished.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this ode to my former neighbour and his most interesting sexual adventures that he shared aurally with me. Sadly the sexual antics of my new neighbours just don't measure up thus this the end.


End file.
